It’s painful just reading those words isn’t it? And certainly not something you’d expect a women’s empowerment coach to be writing (no I have not gone loo-laah)
As an ambitious woman with big dreams, the idea of quitting is enough to get you hyperventilating and coming out in cold sweats. Likelihood is you’ve persevered with everything you’ve set your heart on and ‘quitting’ just isn’t in your vocabulary- full stop.
The thing is, sometimes making a choice to walk away from what just isn’t working is the right thing to do and will contribute more to your long term success than clinging on simply out of stubbornness not to be a ‘quitter’.
I got to thinking about this recently after a coaching session with a client who runs her own design business. She had been working with an incredibly difficult client who had hugely unrealistic demands and was eating into her time and dampening her spirits in a big way. When the option of stopping working with her came up, she uttered these matter-of-fact words with steely precision:
“I am NOT a quitter”
But as we explored more, she began to turn this on its head. The big question was:
Would it really be quitting or rather making an intelligent, empowered business- and life, decision?
When we say NO to something, we are saying YES to something else. The thing is, many of us get so caught up in the ‘no’ and what we’d be sacrificing, we completely oversee what we are in turn saying YES to. This is especially true when it comes to the big money question. The difficult client was paying her money now and loosing that was scary. But when she realised the negative long term financial repercussions of not paying attention to her existing clients and doing almost zero business development because she was scrabbling around trying to appease the difficult one, it opened up a whole new way of seeing things. By saying NO she was actually saying YES to more happy clients, increased prospects and very importantly, a business that she enjoys and brings out the best in her.
I’m not saying that we should all walk away when things gets tough, if that was the case we’d have no juicy career accolades and well, our businesses wouldn’t exist! But what I am saying is we should realise there’s a difference between quitting because we just can’t be bothered and aren’t prepared to put in the fight, and choosing to make an empowered choice for the long term direction of our businesses, careers- and lives.
Be mindful: terms such as ‘quitting’, ‘failing’ and ‘giving up’ are loved by the ego. Very often, we put ourselves in other people’s shoes and judge ourselves in terms of how it must seem from their perspective. The fact we are stopping something/ changing direction may look like we’ve failed, not cut the mustard, quit. To be exposed as weak is the ego’s dream, it keeps us playing small and living in the grip of our fears and insecurities.
Remember it doesn’t matter how anyone else judges you and your situation, if you live your life controlled by this you’ll never unleash that true amazingness inside. It’s your business, your career and your life and you are the one who knows you best- your dreams, hopes and what’s really happening for you right now. If walking away feels deep in your heart & soul the thing to do because what you’ll be saying YES to means so much more to you, then that is exactly what you must do.
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