I had dinner with a very special friend the other day, and we had a long, heated discussion about the changes we’ve both experienced in our lives since we’ve made the decision to go for what we really want in our careers, which for both of us includes building our own business and being our own boss. Admittedly the nature and set up of our businesses are very different, but at the heart of it there’s a desire to take control, to do things our way and make the impact we feel called to make without having to play by an employers ‘rules’.
Now a lot of the changes we discussed are the predictable ones, like jumping out of bed in the morning feeling inspired and excited about the day ahead and the feeling of freedom knowing we can take our breaks when we want. But one of the key changes we both noticed is a little less obvious and it’s what I want to explore here.
We don’t feel the constant need to buy ‘stuff’ (in ladies terms: make up/ shoes/ perfume/ dinners/ hair cuts…the list goes on)
Let me explain. When we were in office jobs that didn’t quite ‘fit’ (the opposite of career styling! ), we both had a habit of going out at lunch time and spending money on nice things that well, we didn’t quite need. I, for one, developed a habit of nipping to the Benefit make-up counter and coming back with an embarrassingly expensive amount of make-up to add to my already overflowing treasure chest of lotions and potions ( I swear I could open up a beauty parlour!)
You’ll be pleased to hear, I’ve managed to curb the habit. Now it almost goes without saying when you’re building a business and are solely responsible for your income, there is a part of you that naturally plays it more cautious when it comes to the ‘ol finances. But it runs deeper than that. Tasha and I don’t feel the need for that quick fix because fundamentally, we’re happy day to day doing the work we do. We’re no longer ‘stuck’ but in our creative flow building something that’s meaningful and exciting to us.
What I’ve concluded is this: when you’re in a job that you don’t enjoy but keeps you trapped because of the money, then those shoe spree indulgences and lavish meals become your reward for trading your happiness and soul for something that’s not really right for you. It gives you a high to blur the grey that lingers inside, distracting you from having to deal with the fact that you’re not happy with what you do everyday (although you’ve probably rationalized it in your head- changing career/ starting that business would be too risky… and how else would you be able to afford that gorgeous new Reiss dress?)
Now please don’t get me wrong here. I am not saying that buying beautiful things is a sign we’re all down in the dumps and need to go to the career doctor- my golly, I still love a gorgeous pair of shoes and am a sucker for bargain! What I am saying is that when our pursuit for ‘stuff’ becomes excessive it could be that we’re trying to get our happy shots from the outside world, when how much better would it be to feel happy and fulfilled on the inside because we’re engaged by our work? ( and those of you that say It’s not possible, that’s just your internal resistance at work and you need to listen to my recent interview with best-selling author and motivational speaker, Nick Williams- details below)
So, if the idea of sacrificing those shopping sprees is what’s stopping you from going for what you really want in your career/ setting up that business, consider this: Maybe when you jump out of bed in the morning and enjoy what you do and feel the excitement of your life evolving, you won’t feel such a need for the ol’ retail therapy? Yes you might have to make some temporary cut backs in the short term to get to where you really want to be, but it seems a small price to pay to enrich your life with possibility and venture.
PS: I just want to use the opportunity to say to my friend, Tasha how very proud I am of her. She’s talented, gorgeous and determined and I absolutely know with every fibre of my being her business is going to be a roaring success. I look forward to the champagne parties!
Would LOVE to start that business idea/ begin that project and make that change in your career but find your own inner resistance getting in your way? (you know you stay locked in action paralysis due to fear/ worry/ anxiety/ procrastination?) then you need to listen to a recording of an interview I recently did with the super inspiring best- selling author and motivational speaker Nick Williams. Click here to get Instant FREE ACCESS- it’s juicy stuff!