Do you think you’re “too young/ old/ inexperienced…” to go for what you really want?
As I enter into my third decade on earth, I've got to thinking how much I've learned and grown over the years- especially the last year and a half when I decided to go for what I really wanted and build my own coaching business.
I still meet a lot of people that comment on how young I am to be a coach. It's understandable and as the coaching profession goes, I would say I fall on the younger side.
Truth is, once upon a time I believed I was too young to be a coach.
I'd always felt a real yearning to be immersing myself in the world of personal growth - and instinctively felt it was what I needed to be doing with my life- but used to berate myself with "don't be silly, who are you to think you can do that now?" "you need to wait until you have at least another ten years experience under your belt- follow the rules! " and the worst one "Stop being so damn naive and get in the real world sweet heart!"
I finally woke up and realised that the assumption that I was too young wasn't "The Truth" but just a story I was choosing to believe that was dictating the reality I was creating for myself (and it sucked). Remember, what you believe is what you become. If you deep down don't believe something is possible, or that you can do it, then it won't happen because you'll never even try.
When I got really honest with myself, I realised it was EASIER to think I was 'too young'. It became an excuse not to go for what I really wanted as deep down I knew that meant confronting my fears. It meant stepping into the unknown, taking a risk, doing something different and opening myself up in a very exposed way- in my mind, that was an incredibly scary place to be.
Thing is, it’s on the other side of our fear that our true potential lies.
That's why I passionately believe that the "I'm too young" or "I'm too old" story is very often just resistance in a clever guise. It convinces you what you think is a very sensible, logical reason to hold off on your dreams and facing our fear- when really it's keeping you from holding back from revealing your deepest, truest potential and living your most expansive, inspired life. It's a cunning thing- like sugar coating a bitter bill.
So if you think you could be stopping yourself from going for what you really want because you're spending too much time in the Land of TOO - "Too young, old, late, ** (place appropriate adjective here)" you need to ask yourself this one Important Question:
What am I really waiting for?
One of the most common responses here is 'experience'.
But be careful with this. Sometimes it can be a valid reason that needs to be respected; maybe you genuinely need more experience in an area you want to build a reputable business in. If this is the case, get really clear exactly how much more experience you need, in what area and how long will it take and- this is a biggie- exactly what you're going to commit to doing to getting it.
I say be careful because many people confuse ‘experience’ with a feeling of inner confidence and 100% validation to go for what they really want. They become a perpetual student to experience- studying, learning and building their expertise whilst simultaneously waiting for that moment of total certainty to "take the plunge". It's like spending your whole life learning about how to be a great business woman, but never setting up your own business.
Yes, experience can play a big part in giving you the confidence you need, but it is never the sole answer and 'solution'.
What I’ve learned, and what I see in so many of my clients, is that the moment of 100% confidence and guarantee will never come because going for what you really want is always, in it’s essence, an act of faith. I see it like a little test from the universe. It's like saying 'trust in me and life and I'll show you how it good it can really be' (but we have to stick to our part of the bargain ). And when it comes to experience- especially in building your own business, the richest, most powerful experience will always come when we're on the journey rather than at the sidelines preparing for it. As Christopher Colombus said:
"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore"
~ Christopher Columbus
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